Trust

A few years ago a dear friend and I were talking. I was contemplating some years with deep remorse and grief. She said ‘’I trust life, Mari, don’t you?’’ And I had to think about it. I didn’t. At that time, I felt life had failed me. I’d shown up with all the fervor, life force, and honesty I could muster, and felt like I got fucked.
 
So I made myself a sign, “I TRUST LIFE.’’ It was pretty, painted, colorful. It hung in a prominent place in my home so that I’d see it and be reminded all the time.
 
Since then I moved and promptly hung it up; in my bedroom this time. A few days ago it started annoying me. I blew it off at first, but this morning I woke up and I wanted that sign down now. As I took it down I realized why – when I didn’t trust life I needed to see it spelled out for me. Now, I’m different. The evidence that I trust life is all around me. I don’t need a sign. I am the sign. 

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